Sit Down and Shuddup

“I don’t mean this to sound like sour grapes,” says the lady in the audience, “but your books actually suck. I haven’t read them, but I think they suck, because I HEARD that they suck. I’ve written books, but nobody buys them. My books are better. So how about you quit writing, and then all of your fans will buy my books instead?”

There’s a Land That I See, that is All Gluten-Free

I never wanted to be gluten free. I like bread. I like variations of bread, like pasta. I like the, what do you call it, the toothiness of gluten. That chewiness. I’ve had digestive problems for years. When I was little my stomach would always hurt in the morning. I have a blood sugar problem,Continue reading “There’s a Land That I See, that is All Gluten-Free”

The Elan of Escalation: One-Upping Meanness with Worse Meanness

For this holiday season, why don’t we all take just a sec to breathe when something like this happens. Ease a retail clerk’s tension with a joke. Offer to help a harried mom with her bags, or hold the door open for somebody with a stroller. Make a funny face at a crying little kid while you’re waiting in line. Smile, even if nobody smiles back. If nothing else, it’ll help your own mood.

Roses Book Club

My junior high school English teacher invited me to a book club at her house last weekend. A few houses down from her lives Ruth the Rose Lady. Almost every square foot of her plot, including the parking strips, are covered in roses, each labeled. Luckily, Ruth confirmed I’d gotten my rose facts right (phew!)Continue reading “Roses Book Club”

Great Gatsby the Goldendoodle

A week and a half ago we became the honorary owners of Gatsby the Goldendoodle. Golden retriever, poodle. This is him after our hike and after he plunged into the black algae very low San Diego River. He has two speeds: Off, or HYPER! He’s 8 months old. His previous owner had an illness andContinue reading “Great Gatsby the Goldendoodle”