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Sit Down and Shuddup
“I don’t mean this to sound like sour grapes,” says the lady in the audience, “but your books actually suck. I haven’t read them, but I think they suck, because I HEARD that they suck. I’ve written books, but nobody buys them. My books are better. So how about you quit writing, and then all…
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Some New Year’s Reflections
When I was little, I had myself convinced that even numbered years were better than odd numbered years. I can’t remember the details of why I thought that, only that I believed it was so. I know my 10th grade year was better than my 11th. I’m looking on my Facebook feed and most of…
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There’s a Land That I See, that is All Gluten-Free
I never wanted to be gluten free. I like bread. I like variations of bread, like pasta. I like the, what do you call it, the toothiness of gluten. That chewiness. I’ve had digestive problems for years. When I was little my stomach would always hurt in the morning. I have a blood sugar problem,…
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The Elan of Escalation: One-Upping Meanness with Worse Meanness
For this holiday season, why don’t we all take just a sec to breathe when something like this happens. Ease a retail clerk’s tension with a joke. Offer to help a harried mom with her bags, or hold the door open for somebody with a stroller. Make a funny face at a crying little kid…
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Roses Book Club
My junior high school English teacher invited me to a book club at her house last weekend. A few houses down from her lives Ruth the Rose Lady. Almost every square foot of her plot, including the parking strips, are covered in roses, each labeled. Luckily, Ruth confirmed I’d gotten my rose facts right (phew!)…
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Running with Dog
When we got a dog, I knew we’d have to be more active. But I didn’t know how much more active. Gatsby is a largish dog, and young. If he doesn’t get walked at least twice a day, he gets antsy. He wakes up too early and barks at too much. So, now I walk…
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Great Gatsby the Goldendoodle
A week and a half ago we became the honorary owners of Gatsby the Goldendoodle. Golden retriever, poodle. This is him after our hike and after he plunged into the black algae very low San Diego River. He has two speeds: Off, or HYPER! He’s 8 months old. His previous owner had an illness and…
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New York
I went to NYC last week. I hadn’t been before. My publisher offered to have me out for a meeting with my new editor and of course I wanted to go. Because I am magic, it went from 100+ degrees of sweltering to only 65. Brrr! I had to wear the one sweater I brought.…
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Beach Day
On Sunday, we went to the beach with two of Cadillac’s cousins and some of their children and Cadillac’s dad and our children, so with (doing some math…[i.e. counting on my fingers]) 12 people. The cousins live in other cities, so we don’t see them that much; and some of them live in Colorado, so…
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Ladies and Gentleman…
I give you what you’ve all been waiting for… The awesomeness that is the over short! $19.99 at jcp. Perfect for all those times when you need to…um… I runned out of words. I fear the photo doesn’t accurately show the tinyness of these. They’re like a denim loincloth. In other news, ALL the pants…
MARGARET DILLOWAY 