Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve just washed the incense out of my hair. Sitting in the front pew of a Catholic Christmas Eve mass can be dangerous. I like Christmas Eve mass the best, because we always sing Angels We Have Heard on High. I was in the high school choir and we had to learn the hell out of that song, and I still remember the alto, so I always sing that. After mass, we went to my in-laws’ house; it was Cadillac’s nephew’s 24th (I think?) birthday. Cadillac got people lottery scratchers, and actually five people won money. The most was $10. Then my father in law got out air poppers that shoot ping-pong sized foam balls, and all the kids (by kids I also mean all the men-folk) had a chaotic game where nobody was safe.

Now the head elf is wrapping presents. That is Cadillac. There are some things Cadillac does better than I do: folding towels, washing dishes, and wrapping presents, so I leave him to do those chores when possible. However, I cook better and make sure kids stay off high cliffs, so there’s that. There are some activities you get better at with practice. For example, he usually shuffles the cards for me when we play card games, and I always think I’d get better at it if I actually practiced it. However, I am still forced to fold and wash a fair amount of time and have not gotten better. I always leave a crumb on the dish that I don’t see until it’s dry and ready to be put away. I don’t begrudge him doing those chores, believe me, because I am a pretty lazy person when possible. He probably should have been the stay-at-home parent.

Most of my friends complain that their husbands are purposely incompetent at some tasks so their wives will give up on them and do the chore instead, but in our case it’s me. I guess we have reversed traditional roles in some ways. I am also the baby when I get sick, which I understand is how men usually act, while Cadillac will not admit to being sick. Once he had an ear infection and wouldn’t cop to the pain until his entire right side of his face swelled up and he pretty much passed out on the bus on the way home.

So anyway, Merry Christmas! I hope you get to spend the day with loved ones, or whatever you love to do.

Oh, and tonight the Mass gospel reading was this. It seems to go on forever. Anyway, check out the names. I had the strangest feeling of deja vu during it– like maybe it was in a Monty Python skit? Usually they read the bracketed version, so I guess I never really read through the long one.


The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram, and Ram the father of Amminadab, and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David the king.

And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asa, and Asa the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos, and Amos the father of Josiah, and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon.

And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of She-alti-el, and She-alti-el the father of Zerubbabel, and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.

So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.

[Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit; and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away. But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; she will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and His name shall be called Emmanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took his wife, but knew her not until she had borne a Son; and he called His name Jesus.]

Published by Margaret Dilloway

Middle grade and women's fiction novelist. FIVE THINGS ABOUT AVA ANDREWS, (Balzer + Bray 2020); SUMMER OF A THOUSAND PIES. MOMOTARO: Xander and the Lost Island of Monsters (Disney Hyperion); TALE OF THE WARRIOR GEISHA and SISTERS OF HEART AND SNOW, out now from Putnam Books. HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE was a finalist for the John Gardner fiction award. THE CARE AND HANDLING OF ROSES WITH THORNS is the 2013 Literary Tastes Best Women's Fiction Pick for the American Library Association. Mother of three children, wife to one, slave to a cat, and caretaker of the best overgrown teddy bear on Earth, Gatsby the Goldendoodle.

3 thoughts on “Merry Christmas!

  1. Everything that you write just comes out right and funny and sometimes wild and I love it. Keep it up. All the work or not that you put into your writing. Thanks a bunch. Barb
    Yes Merry Christmas. I’m glad you included the Bible piece. We often forget what the day is all about. God bless.

  2. I wonder if my dad was the usher for your Mass. He did the 8pm (I think) one. (He usually does the 9am Sunday one in case you ever see him. Looks sort of like Santa.)

    And wow, you got the unbracketed version. I think this is the ____ begot ____ text that is often parodied. Life of Brian would make the most sense.

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