The Big Sneeze

I have a cold. The kids had it earlier in the week, and what else can happen when three kids are sneezing or coughing directly in your face for a few days? You catch the cold.

However, where theirs was mild and didn’t slow them down, mine has reduced me to a watery-eyed, dizzy mess. The worst part is the sneezing.

Whenever I sneeze, whether or not I have a cold, people ask me if I’m all right. It’s embarrassing to call so much attention to myself. Sometimes my sneeze sounds like a cough. Always, I sneeze about four or five times in succession, loudly. My brother used to accuse me of holding back and told me to just have one tremendous sneeze. Impossible. If I had one tremendous sneeze, especially now after having three kids, the results would not be good. So I do my Kegels and I hold back the sneezing as best I can.

Sometimes I wonder what people would do if I said I wasn’t all right after I sneeze. Who isn’t all right after they sneeze? Are they going to drive me to the emergency room if I say no? Why do they think I’m not all right? Your eyeballs stay inside your head; I saw it on Mythbusters. Can’t I just get a “God bless you,” or a “Gesundheit”?

The worst part? Somebody (he knows who he is) got a Chocolate Lover’s Delight Cake at Costco the other day. The fudge ring with the white icing dripped over it. I can’t taste it. It like pure corn syrup. Blech. By the time I’m better, the kids will have eaten it all. Maybe I’ll lose weight on this cold.