Creating a Pre-Teen Monster

Yesterday, my oldest daughter watched American Idol with me for the first time ever.  She lay face down on the couch, looking bored.  “What do you think about her?” she asked after Lil Rounds sang.

“It’s all right. She’s sung better.”

“That’s what I think, too.  She’s just okay.”

For each singer, she asked me what I thought.  Finally, at Adam Lambert, the end, she asked, “What did you think?”

“What did YOU think?”

“I thought it was all right,” she said casually.

Then Simon stood up and clapped.

“I can’t believe it!” she exclaimed.

“Me neither. I didn’t enjoy it much.  Too high pitched for me.”

We got out the phone to vote.  “Vote for number eight,” she said.  “Number eight.”

I did.

Then today, as though Adam Lambert’s song had sunk into her pores, she woke up obsessed.  “The song (Mad World), expresses EXACTLY how I feel in this world!” she declared to me.  “He UNDERSTANDS me.”

Oh, Lord.

She wanted to show her dad the Lambert performance, so she was introduced to the greatness of YouTube.  “Can I download his song on iTunes?” she asked.

“Maybe later.”

I drew the line at her Googling Adam Lambert.  “Safe search IS NOT ON,” I whispered to her dad. I had seen certain pics of Lambert that would either crush her crush; I was also afraid she would Google an Adam-Lambert lookalike at some questionable site.

“Yes, Mother.”  She smiled, and settled for running around saying, like a mantra, “Voteforadamlambertvoteforadamlambertvoteforadamlambert.”

“If you continue,” I said after about four hours of this (no joke!), “I’m afraid you won’t be allowed to watch it at all.”

“Aww,” she said, but cut it out.

Anyway, did you know that Mr. Lambert once starred in a Moses musical with none other than Val Kilmer?  How random.

Published by Margaret Dilloway

Middle grade and women's fiction novelist. FIVE THINGS ABOUT AVA ANDREWS, (Balzer + Bray 2020); SUMMER OF A THOUSAND PIES. MOMOTARO: Xander and the Lost Island of Monsters (Disney Hyperion); TALE OF THE WARRIOR GEISHA and SISTERS OF HEART AND SNOW, out now from Putnam Books. HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE was a finalist for the John Gardner fiction award. THE CARE AND HANDLING OF ROSES WITH THORNS is the 2013 Literary Tastes Best Women's Fiction Pick for the American Library Association. Mother of three children, wife to one, slave to a cat, and caretaker of the best overgrown teddy bear on Earth, Gatsby the Goldendoodle.

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