Ever since my husband got laid off six weeks ago, I haven’t had many GOOD days. I’ve had “good” days that were simply not bad. I”ve had less-anxious days that didn’t require a sleeping pill. I’ve had moderately happy days when a small freelance check came in and we could buy some food.
But yesterday was a good day.
First: Sazze.com informed me that I had won the Stand Up and Spam Back contest, in which we had to write a scam letter, like the kind we always get saying we won the British lottery or that Engineer Robson needs our help. Mine:
Dear Most Honered Frend,
Sh. Secret time. This is Princess Maleea, yes, *the* Princess Maleea. Yes, right, the one and only Virgin Princess. Do not tell a sole for I am in a heap of trouble this time, and I so need your help.
Late last night, my most revered Father, the King of Swatiooika, was kidnapped by a band of renegader munchkins. I was fast asleep upon a pile of featherbeds , wearing in my swirling white 100% nylon gown purchase at JC Penny’s, dreaming of my one true dream, visiting Amerika. Whoosh went munchkin by the head. NOw my father is captured in one of the nation’s biggsest exports, one of our rich mud farms which produce much of our wealthiness.
And now, if I could ask of you to do me one small favor. You see, the Reverend foreseen the event and hath put the monies of the country into a bank account in Amerika. Now our peoples have no foods. To save us all, to help us, simply put $1 into this account by which I will give you the number soon, and in return Reverence will give you the small sum of $5 million dollars, such a pittance for your honored help.
To enact the transaction and act upon this act quicker than fast, I must needs your bank account number to put forth the sum of cash, as well as the license number by which you are allowed to drive a passenger vhicle, and the number of Security by which the government has stamped you. Do this fast and so I will assume you have the good faith. In return perhaps my father has said that who has helped me or the brother or male related to you in case you are not male, he has said that the person or male relative of that who has helped shall be the new King of Swatisoio and reap all the awards of our rich and fertile Mud Swamps.
This is what I lok like forgive me for my ugliness
I await the coming of your most helpful presence of numbers.
YOUR TRUE FREND,
Maleeka
the prncesst most high
I won a Roku Netflix player and Netflix subscription for my troubles.
That was exciting enough. I jumped up and down and high-fived my husband and ran to tell the kids, who also jumped up and down. “At last! All the movies we want!” my son yelled, as though he never gets to watch anything.
Then my lover-ly editor got back to me with a lover-ly editorial letter, which I am going to work really hard at and hope it’s the last. Her suggestions, as always, will improve my novel and are the sort that make me slap myself on the forehead and think, ” I should have figured that out on my own!” But cool. I know what I need to do and I’ll do it. Sometimes I feel like my editor is teaching some MFA level course that I should have already taken, for which I humbly will owe her forever.
Then, with my editorial letter still hot from the printer, my husband appeared and said that the office in Hawaii he’d interviewed with had offered him a job.
Woot! Another round of high-fives, followed by more running to tell the kids.
“Do good things come in threes?” I asked my friend.
“I dunno. I’m happy if I get one,” she replied.
Stellar day. Marked here.
MARGARET DILLOWAY 