The Tooting Horn

For a house with more women than men, there are a surprising number of fart jokes.

So, Son just started playing trombone. At school, they have music. You can choose chorus (free), orchestra, or band. If you do orchestra or band, you have to rent or buy an instrument, get a music book, stand, and, above all, be committed to practice.

Son insisted he wanted trombone. I guess the band teacher said he could always use trombone players, and Son likes to please.

We decided to have him do it. Music is good for kids, lessons are, after all, free, and instrument rental is about $20 per month. We’re looking on Craigslist for a used trombone (new they are kinda pricey).

Anyway, he’s been practicing. So far, with one lesson, this consists of trying out high notes, and low notes.

Every time he begins, the girls and I jump, thinking *someone* is breaking wind. The boys find this hilarious, of course, so Son delights in practicing.

The cat does not appreciate such musical endeavors, however. The other night, Eldest practiced her guitar while Son practiced trombone.

Here it is, if you’re brave.

Published by Margaret Dilloway

Middle grade and women's fiction novelist. FIVE THINGS ABOUT AVA ANDREWS, (Balzer + Bray 2020); SUMMER OF A THOUSAND PIES. MOMOTARO: Xander and the Lost Island of Monsters (Disney Hyperion); TALE OF THE WARRIOR GEISHA and SISTERS OF HEART AND SNOW, out now from Putnam Books. HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE was a finalist for the John Gardner fiction award. THE CARE AND HANDLING OF ROSES WITH THORNS is the 2013 Literary Tastes Best Women's Fiction Pick for the American Library Association. Mother of three children, wife to one, slave to a cat, and caretaker of the best overgrown teddy bear on Earth, Gatsby the Goldendoodle.

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