HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE is about the strong pull of tradition, and the lure and cost of breaking free of tradition. Set in California and Japan, it tells the story of Shoko, a Japanese woman who married an American GI as a way of improving her and her family’s fortunes, moved with him to the States, and tried to learn how to be a proper American housewife; and her grown daughter Sue, who finds her own life as an American housewife is not at all what her mother would have wanted for her, or even what Sue had hoped for herself. When Shoko’s illness prevents her from making a long-awaited trip to Japan to be reunited with her brother, she asks Sue to go in her place, and the trip changes both women’s lives in unexpected ways. With beautifully delineated characters and unique entertaining glimpses into Japanese and American family life and aspirations, this is also a moving mother and daughter story. Interspersed with quotations from Shoko’s guide to being an American housewife, this is a warm and engaging novel full of surprising insight.
“Margaret Dilloway’s How to Be an American Housewife gets its heartfelt tone from the author’s familial knowledge. Shoko’s story is lovely, as is that of her all-American daughter Sue, who discovers true happiness only after connecting with her Japanese heritage.” (USA Today)
“Nope, this novel’s not a Mad Men style throwback but a nuanced debut about what happens when expectations and cultures collide in a family. Shoko is a Japanese immigrant who spent her adult life trying to be the perfect American wife. When her grown daughter, Sue, gets a divorce, Shoko feels that Sue has thrown away the American dream. Does she have a point? And what is the American dream anyway? Put on the snacks and the shiraz and get ready for this novel to spark a late-into-the-night book-club gabfest.” (REDBOOK)
“A tender and captivating novel of family secrets and redemption, and a compelling look at the complex love languages spoken within three generations of a family.”
—Jamie Ford, author of HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET
“A Japanese war bride and her American daughter lay bare family secrets and heal old wounds in Dilloway’s poignant debut. Warm-hearted and well-written.”-Kirkus Reviews
“In this enchanting first novel, Dilloway mines her own family’s history to produce the story of Japanese war bride Shoko, her American daughter, Sue, and their challenging relationship. Dilloway splits her narrative gracefully between mother and daughter (giving Shoko the first half, Sue the second), making a beautifully realized whole.” — Publishers Weekly
“In How to Be an American Housewife Margaret Dilloway creates an irresistible heroine. Shoko is stubborn, contrary, proud, a wonderful housewife and full of deeply conflicted feelings. I wanted to shake her, even as I was cheering her on, and this cunningly structured novel allowed me to do both. It also took me on two intricate journeys, from post-war Japan and the shadow of Nagasaki to contemporary California, and from motherhood to daughterhood and back again. A profound and suspenseful debut.”
—Margot Livesey, author of THE HOUSE ON FORTUNE STREET
“How to Be an American Housewife is witty, rich, layered and so very satisfying. Dilloway’s talent shines through from the very first page and I was terribly sorry when it ended. This was by far one of the best books I’ve read in ages.”
—Jane Porter, author of EASY ON THE EYES
“How to Be an American Housewife is a charming, poignant and life affirming book. Dilloway reminds us of the triumph of love over geography, silence and misunderstanding. She makes us glad to be alive.”
—Ann Hood, author of THE KNITTING CIRCLE“
How to Be An American Housewife is a triumphant debut novel. Margaret Dilloway gives us the most original, endearing, courageous and enduring narrator I’ve read in a long time. Shoko’s voice is one of a kind, yet as familiar as advice from your own mother. I found myself cheering for her on every step of her epic journey from wartime Japan to modern-day America. Her unforgettable story of triumph, tragedy, disappointment and joy will stay with me long after the last page is turned.”
—Susan Wiggs, author of JUST BREATHE
“Margaret Dilloway has written a compulsively readable novel about the timeless, fraught, and ultimately powerful relationships between mothers and daughters, and brothers and sisters. Shoko, the Japanese bride of an American soldier who aspires to become the perfect American housewife, is such a wonderfully rendered character that I challenge any reader to forget her. Both tender and uplifting, HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE confirms that redemption and happy endings are always possible.”
—Patricia Wood, author of LOTTERY
“How to be An American Housewife is equal parts multilayered and beautifully nuanced — an enthralling debut told in an utterly original voice.”
— Holly Kennedy, author of THE PENNY TREE
“How to Be an American Housewife is filled with dreams and love–the kinds that come true and those that don’t. Margaret Dilloway is wise and ironic. She has created wonderful characters who never, in spite of hardships, stop finding ways to love each other.”
— Luanne Rice, author of THE DEEP BLUE SEA FOR BEGINNERS
“Moving, elegant in its simplicity, well told and heartwarming. How to Be an American Housewife will charm and uplift you.”
— Iris Rainer Dart, author of BEACHES
“Dilloway’s characters come to understand, as we all must, that the pain of yesterday is no reason to destroy the present. This debut novel is an impressive tribute to one woman, a mother, who lived a true and large life. It is also a tribute to the best characteristics of people in two very different countries who, separately yet together, seek to find comfort within the noisy turbulence of life.“–New York Journal of Books
Just finished reading and had to tell you my heart was touched. Emotionally this book spoke to me like no other. In fact, I am an avid reader and never written to an author before. Though fiction it had some of my story in it as well.
My Puerto Rican mother married a Kentucky boy. She had been in states to study, had completed her studies and met the GI on a blind date, that was 58 yrs ago in August. We went to PR about every 4 yrs as a child and I spoke Spanish & English until I was 5 or 6 yrs old. So I know my PR family quite well. Even though my grandmother did not speak English I could always feel special around her.
The love of family radiates your story. Yes, it can help with healing. My mom was dying in June of congestive heart failure and when I told her that 2 of her sisters, a brother and 2 nephews were all coming, the next morning I walked into the ICU to find her sitting up drinking coffee. The emotions I felt having all that family in our home while my mom was in the hospital, I can’t find the words to describe but love and peace and the way it should be.
I have gone to Mexico twice to study Spanish and Guatemala on a mission trip. Every trip is a very emotional experience for me it like I have stepped back in time. I could relate to the contentment Sue had in Japan when she went to teach.
Can’t wait for your next novel!
Sincerely,
Eloise Campbell
Thank you so much, Eloise!
Your novel reminded me soooo much of my mom and me! My mom’s side of the family, the Otani family, are Hiroshima atomic bomb survivors. My dad was a Marine Corp musician in Iwakuni and my mom was the head waitress on base during the ’50s. That’s where they met. She worked her day job on base and then worked nights at a gift shop, selling souveniers to GIs to pay for my youngest uncle’s university expenses. We lived off base in the Japanese community until ’71 when we moved here to the US. I didn’t learn to speak English until we moved here. I’ve never spoken English to my mother, who passed on in ’07.She and her younger sister had breast cancer within a couple of years of each other around ’90. We attributed the illnesses to after-effects of the atomic bomb since there was no history of cancer in the family other than the oldest sister who died a few years after the bombing. She had been back to Japan twice and was hoping to go back one more time before she died. We brought Japan to her hospice room by flying my youngest uncle and his wife to visit for a few days. The last couple of weeks of her life were just lovely, her room full of Japanese knick-knacks, Japanese music playing on the stereo and hours of lively conversations in Japanese. We were able to get my mom on the phone with the last sister still alive, whom she had not spoken to in almost 20 years. How beautiful it was to see my mom, initially so resistant to take the phone from my hand, break down with tears of joy when her sister spoke to her.
I’ve always thought she was unlike other Japanese women from her generation. She was such a spitfire, so unlike the stereotipical Japanese housewife. What a shock it was to read so much of her in your book! I mean, cripes! At first, I couldn’t get started. I’d pick up the book, radomly choose a page to skim, get triggered, then put the book down because I was too freaked out to read it. I read Part Two first. Then I was able to read Part One without getting triggered. How wonderful that you were able to record your mother’s stories. My mom, Hisako, told many stories to my brother and me while we were growing up and continued to tell them until her last days. I hope to write a play based on her stories someday, how the bomb blew her forward into her life adventures.
Are you connected to any group for Half Japanese people? There must be so many of us down there in Southern CA. I’m in the Eastern Oregon desert, where there are more cattle than people. I’m the only non-white person I’ll see for days at a time if I don’t go to the local Mexican restaurant. I have a couple of friends I met on line who are haafu. I’ll be mailing them copies of your book this week. I’m sure they’ll be able to relate like I did. Well, for me, it did more than allow me to relate. Your novel was theraputic, Margaret.
I’m so very grateful for your book and your work. Domo arigato gozaimashita. Good luck with your second novel. Gambatte ne!
Jackie Sario
Wow, Jackie, thanks for writing! The similarities are astounding. It’s funny: a lot of people were amazed at my Japanese spitfire woman character, but you are providing more proof: it’s totally possible! Thanks for reading & spreading the word!